Sometimes it is hard to not look back on the past with some regret. Sometimes I think to myself well If I hadn't done some of the things I did how different my life would be. How if I had stayed in Tallahassee I never would have ended up moving back in with my parents or gotten myself into debt. And sometimes I think about the amount of time I spent dating people that I didn't end up with...how different my life would have been if I hadn't spent so much time in effort making those relationships last. If I would have just let them go when they were going bad the first time maybe I would have been traveling sooner...maybe I would have finished school faster because I would have stayed in school in Tallahassee and not taking time off.
But I have to be careful when I start with regrets because of the memories that were made in those lost years. I moved out and had two of the greatest roommates and one of the best years of my life that year. I think about how much fun we had getting into trouble together. Then I think about the time I moved to Cocoa beach and how lost I was at that time but I had one of the greatest summers of my life. I lived with my best friend and I got to meet new people and have a great adventure there.
It is hard because the times have changed so much. I am not longer a young 20 year old. Sometimes I feel like I wasted time spending so much time focused on one person...that I could have been out there living life to the fullest. But even though it is hard to remember the good times I know that for a long time I was truly happy and had great experiences because of it.
The choices in your life define who you are. Even though sometimes I regret some of the choices in my life that I have made I look back and realize with out every single one of those choices I would not be the person I am today. Every time period in my life has shaped a part of me.
If I had not had made those choices I would not be discovering who I am today in China. I have to think about these things because sometimes the future is overwhelming. The choices that have to be made in the future will continue to shape who I am and it is a little scary to think about. I know that there is a purpose in everything that happens and that the puzzle pieces of my life are slowly coming together and I just have to be patient and remember everything happens for a reason and time flies too fast to sit here worrying because before you know it the present becomes the past and you look back on it and realize how great those times truly were.
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